One could never know such sorrow. Maybe no one should ever...
You have heard the saying, "You can't understand until you've walked a mile in my shoes". Well, this old proverb leaves out alot of the reality.. First, every single person is so different. We all perceive, interpet, and respond to the same situation uniquely as a fingerprint.
When my wife left me along with my two baby boys 11 and 6 years of age, my world became a deeper shade of gray. I have increasingly become more bed ridden until I cannot really move. I am still caught in the Veterans Administrations' Health Care merry-go-round.. Believe or not, 5 years has lapsed and they keep sending me in circles. I am right back where I started with my primary care physician needing to write a reference to see someone else, here we go. It's now to late! I cannot even get up anymore. If I were a senator, like that one from Arizona, I would have already been in rehab somewhere.
Life is bittersweet.. Like the song, "I could have missed the pain, but I would have missed the dance..".
Oh what a dance!
I lie here day in and day out all alone. Each time I awake, I sigh..thinking how is it that I have lived another day. Lord, why do I live having worn out becoming a broken vessel unable to carry water forth to the sheep.
My thoughts weigh every moment wasted. Only now in these darkest moments do YOU shine forth ever so brightly your hidden truth. Ahhhh! the agony of knowing what delusions are prevalent, knowing the shortcomings of the current practices of mainstream Christianity and yet unable to share the remedy.
For a soldier, to be taken out of the battle it's anguish.. My thoughts weigh every moment.
I once saw a man separated from his wife, whom he loved dearly.. He was so sick, he was beside himself with grief, he stopped eating and lost so much weight. I was really suprised at just how powerful a reaction he was displaying, eventually I believe he would have died, but she came back.
I feel that strength of love for my Saviour and Father. I have moped around for so long. I used to be able to demonstrate my love and affectations through works. Not that works is salvation or anything.. I never thought that way.. But loving others was my way of showing my affection to my Lord to whom I am forever espoused.
But the days grow longer, and these walls do close in.. My memories replay and I feel grayer, mourning every moment because I cannot warn the Church of the error.. Terrible delusion.. Many shall fall to be made white.. What terror, that dark day is upon you.. And I am going to the grave, leaving my children and my wife. I shall rejoice to see Him!
You have heard the saying, "You can't understand until you've walked a mile in my shoes". Well, this old proverb leaves out alot of the reality.. First, every single person is so different. We all perceive, interpet, and respond to the same situation uniquely as a fingerprint.
When my wife left me along with my two baby boys 11 and 6 years of age, my world became a deeper shade of gray. I have increasingly become more bed ridden until I cannot really move. I am still caught in the Veterans Administrations' Health Care merry-go-round.. Believe or not, 5 years has lapsed and they keep sending me in circles. I am right back where I started with my primary care physician needing to write a reference to see someone else, here we go. It's now to late! I cannot even get up anymore. If I were a senator, like that one from Arizona, I would have already been in rehab somewhere.
Life is bittersweet.. Like the song, "I could have missed the pain, but I would have missed the dance..".
Oh what a dance!
I lie here day in and day out all alone. Each time I awake, I sigh..thinking how is it that I have lived another day. Lord, why do I live having worn out becoming a broken vessel unable to carry water forth to the sheep.
My thoughts weigh every moment wasted. Only now in these darkest moments do YOU shine forth ever so brightly your hidden truth. Ahhhh! the agony of knowing what delusions are prevalent, knowing the shortcomings of the current practices of mainstream Christianity and yet unable to share the remedy.
For a soldier, to be taken out of the battle it's anguish.. My thoughts weigh every moment.
I once saw a man separated from his wife, whom he loved dearly.. He was so sick, he was beside himself with grief, he stopped eating and lost so much weight. I was really suprised at just how powerful a reaction he was displaying, eventually I believe he would have died, but she came back.
I feel that strength of love for my Saviour and Father. I have moped around for so long. I used to be able to demonstrate my love and affectations through works. Not that works is salvation or anything.. I never thought that way.. But loving others was my way of showing my affection to my Lord to whom I am forever espoused.
But the days grow longer, and these walls do close in.. My memories replay and I feel grayer, mourning every moment because I cannot warn the Church of the error.. Terrible delusion.. Many shall fall to be made white.. What terror, that dark day is upon you.. And I am going to the grave, leaving my children and my wife. I shall rejoice to see Him!
posted by Steve | 3:35 AM
|
0 comments
